Walking Out Of The Shadows
by Captaintjf
Summary: Sydney Pike, daughter of Christopher Pike, had her whole life planned out, and Star Fleet was not in her plans. But when an accident almost killed her and killed her fiancee, she took the logical step to become a Star Fleet Security Officer. Eventual Kirk/OC. Takes place during Star Trek 2009 past Into Darkness. I do not own Star Trek only my OC's
1. Chapter 1

**Walking Out of The Shadows**

**Chapter 1**

**Introduction: Sydney Pike age 24(Played by Lauren Cohen) daughter of Christopher Pike is a graduate of the Interplanetary Law Enforcement Academy of New Mexico. After being injured and losing someone close to her, she returned to Earth, and after a year recovery decided to join Starfleet as a Security Officer. Based on Experience, she was starting as a 3****rd**** year cadet and being a professor for a year teaching hand to hand combat. Eventually Kirk and Sydney. Covers 2009 movie and past Into Darkness (May be broken into two parts)**

Sydney put her long brownish blond hair in a ponytail**, **and looked at herself in the mirror. She pulled her uniform sleeves down to cover the remaining scars and sighed as she walked downstairs. "Don't wait up," she instructed as she grabbed her keys.

The man looked up from his chair. "Don't forget that you do have a shuttle to catch tomorrow," he said with a slight grin.

Sydney shook her head and walked over in front of him. "No sir, I would never forget," she answered. "You're enjoying this to much, Dad."

Chris Pike stood up and kissed his daughter on top of her head. "I'm just glad to see that you aren't hiding in your room anymore. And, I'm going to love seeing you kick everyone else's scores, it's a dad's right to brag you know," he said.

Sydney shook her head. "You've got to much faith in me."

Chris looked at his daughter. "One, you have always been one to do the impossible and two, you are a Pike, I expect nothing less then greatness in you. Though I think Gold is more your color, then red," he teased.

"I like red," Sydney answered as she kissed his cheek.

"You meeting Uhura at the bar?" Chris asked.

"Yes, you know I'm not 14 years old anymore sneaking out," Sydney answered. "Last night of freedom," she told him.

"Have fun, but not to much!" Chris warned as he shook his head.

"I did say don't wait up," she said with a wink as she went out the door. The truth was the last thing Sydney was looking for was any kind of romance, or one night stand. At this point, she wasn't sure if she would ever give her heart or body to anyone else. Some things you didn't try to explain to your parents, especially your father. She sighed, as she walked the short distance to the bar and took a breath as she stood outside and looked at the door. She could hear that it was crowded, why she had agreed to go out with the others was beyond her. But, hiding in her room being a recluse wasn't going to work at the Academy, it hadn't worked 6 years prior when she had joined the Law Enforcement Academy. But now she was more inclined to hide then she was before. Sydney jumped not hearing the woman come up from behind her and clasped her on the shoulders. "Damn it Ny, scare a person why don't you?"

The young black woman laughed. "You know there was a time that you would have heard me from a mile away. You OK? You aren't thinking of going back home and hiding are you?"

Sydney rolled her eyes. "No, ok maybe I was. Just not sure if I should go in there, hell I'm not even sure if I'm ready to go to Fleet tomorrow."

"Syd, you're going to do great. You've already been battled tested and he wouldn't want you to hide for the rest of your life," Uhura told her.

Sydney sighed. The two of them were unlikely friends, but had gotten to know each other when Nyota was visiting a friend in the hospital when she was in a year ago. Nyota had decided Sydney needed a friend, and not just her father coming to visit her. Sydney was grateful for that, and glad they would be returning to fleet together. "Fine, let's go," she said.

Nyota grinned. "If you need a break, let me know, I'll go outside with you," she told her friend as she opened the door. "Hey," Uhura said as she greeted friends.

"I can get the drinks, you can visit with everyone," Sydney said as she started taking the drink orders.

"You sure?" Uhura asked her friend.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Sydney answered as she walked up to the bar. "Hi. I'd like a Klavnian fire tea. uhh... three Budweiser classics, two Cardassian sunrises, shot of Jack straight up and…" 

"Try the Slusho, it's good," the bartender suggested.

"The Slusho mix, thank you," Sydney answered.

A young man turned and looked at her. "That's a lot of drinks for one woman," the man said.

Sydney looked at the man and then turned back to the bartender. "And a rum and coke," she ordered.

"Give me a shot and put her Rum and Coke on my tab, it's on me," the man said.  
>"No, my drink is on me, thanks but no thanks," Sydney answered as she turned her head back to the bartender and rolled her eyes.<p>

"Do you at least want to know my name before you completely reject me?" the man asked.

"No, I'm perfectly fine without it," Sydney answered.

The man moved over and sat next to her. "You are fine without it. It's Jim, Jim Kirk. If you don't tell me your name, I'm going to have to make one up," he told her.

Uhura looked over from the table. "You ok Syd?"

"Nothing I can't handle," she answered.

"Syd? That your first or last name, personally you don't look like a Syd," Kirk told her.

Sydney sighed. "It's Sydney, only my friends get to call me Syd," she told him. "You are not a friend," she informed him.

"So you're a cadet, what are you studying?" Kirk asked.

Sydney sighed and looked at him. "You know what, I didn't come here to be hit on by a townie who wouldn't know there way out of a brown paper bag. So why don't you do both of us a favor and bug off?"

"Oh come on, I just asked a simple question," Jim told her.

Uhura came up with a bigger man. "Syd you need help with the drinks?"

"This townie bothering you?" the bigger man asked.

"Most definitely but I can handle it," the woman answered.

"You could handle me, if that's an invitation," Kirk answered with a smile.

The man looked at him. "Hey! You better mind your manners," he told the other man.

"Oh, relax cupcake, it was a joke," Kirk said as he put an arm on the officer.

"Hey, farm boy, maybe you can't count, but there are four of us and one of you," the officer told him.

Sydney looked at Uhura and rolled her eyes. "What are we chopped liver?" she asked.

"Boys will be boys," Uhura answered in a low voice.

"Well, some more guys and then it'll be an even fight," Kirk told him as he proceeded to punch him the other men joining in.

"Stop it! Stop it, all of you! Enough! Guys, he's had enough!" Uhura yelled.

One of the guys pulled Kirk up by the collar pushing him right into Sydney, his hands on her breast. Syd arched an eyebrow as Kirk grinned. "Let's finish this now, why don't we?" she asked as she grabbed one of his hands, pulling it behind his back, causing him to fall to his knees. "By the way, I was part of the Interplanetary Law Division, I'll be in the Security division," she told him as he was on his knees.

"Quite a grip," Kirk gulped.

Sydney heard a whistle, instantly recognizing it and dropping Kirk on his face.

"All of you out now!" Captain Pike ordered.

"Yes sir," all of them said.

Pike arched an eyebrow at his daughter as she passed him. "Stop," he ordered.

"I didn't think you meant me," she said as she gave Uhura a look as she went out the door.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Mr. Kirk just was offering to buy me a drink, Sir, and there was a misunderstanding, and it got a bit out of hand. I thought it was best that I intervened before Mr. Kirk got any more beat up then he already had been," Sydney explained.

"Hey I was doing just fine, thank you very much," Kirk answered.

"Did you say Kirk?" Chris asked.

"Yes sir," Sydney answered.

Chris nodded. "Go home," he instructed as he looked at the young man. "The two of us are going to have a talk."

Sydney had seen that look before and was glad that she wasn't on the receiving end of it this time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Walking Out of The Shadows**

**Chapter 2**

**Reviews are loved! Please review or PM me, advice loved and needed. Knows I'm on the right or wrong track. Sydney's past will be revealed, through conversations and people being nosey.**

Sydney sighed as she went outside and took out the PADD from her purse and looked up the name James Kirk. She knew she recognized the name Kirk, she was a Star Fleet brat, and knew that name had came up during dinner conversation.

"We should be heading home," Uhura said as she came up on the other woman.

"I really need to put a bell on you," Sydney said. "Go on, I'm going to wait out here for dad," she told the other woman.

"I'm pretty sure I heard the Captain say go home," Uhura told her.

"He did, luckily for me he can't give me a demerit for disobeying his orders until tomorrow," Sydney said. "I'll see you tomorrow," she told the other woman.

Uhura looked at her. "You're looking up the townie aren't you?"

Sydney looked up at her. "I still have some of my security clearance from Enforcement, I'm curious."

"Curious as a law enforcement agent or curious as in he's cute and you want to know more about him?" Uhura asked.

Sydney brought up her hazel eyes and looked at her. "Seriously Ny?"

Uhura looked at her. "He is kind of cute, in a farm boy way, and no one would blame you for looking twice at him. You didn't die in that fire, Syd."

"Nyota I'm not going to have this conversation with you," Sydney told the other woman.

Uhura took the PADD out of her hand. "You have been honest with me since the day we met about everything, but you clam up when I even broach the subject of Max with you. Just because he died, doesn't mean that you can't have a conversation about him, about the good times and the bad. And it certainly doesn't mean at 24 that you shut your heart out to the idea of anyone else," she told her friend. "I'm not saying go hop in bed with the townie, you deserve a lot better then him, but what I am saying is don't give up on the idea of love," she begged her friend as she handed back her PADD. "I shouldn't have teased you about it, but it was so damn easy," she told the other woman. "Plus whoever you decide to see, whenever you decide it's right, is going to have to pass the best friend test. And he certainly wouldn't," Ny told her.

Sydney shook her head. "Go on back to the barracks, I'll come by in the morning," she said as she took the pad. Both women heard the door open and stood at attention as Captain Pike went out.

"Cadet Pike, Cadet Uhura, I thought I told you both to leave," Pike said.

Sydney spoke first. "It's my fault, sir. I thought I'd wait here for you and Uhura didn't want to leave me alone," she explained.

Pike nodded. "Cadet back to the barracks, I'll see you tomorrow," he ordered Uhura.

"Yes sir," the young black woman said as she glanced at Sydney before she left.

Chris maneuvered himself in front of Sydney and looked down at her. "Want to try the truth this time?"

"I could never lie to you," Sydney answered. "I saw how you reacted the name Kirk, and I knew that I recognized it so I decided to look it up. George Kirk's son, quite a delinquent in his youth, trouble with the law even now, border line genius," she answered reading over his file and looked up at him. "Did you give him you can do better speech?"

Chris looked at her. "Yes, you know me to well," he told his daughter.

"I've only been your daughter for 24 years, and I recognized the look," Sydney informed him. "Go on home, I'm going to go talk to him."

Pike looked at her. "Do I even have to ask why you would want to talk to him?"

"Well, I am your daughter, and us Pike's love to take on hard cases," she answered. "Plus, I've dealt with a few delinquents in my time on the border colonies, maybe I can throw out some points that you didn't," she answered. "Night dad," Sydney said as she kissed his cheek and went into the bar.

Kirk looked up as he took another sip of his drink. "See I knew you liked me," he told her as she sat down. "I thought Pike ordered all his little sheep back to quarters. Aren't you afraid that you'll get in trouble?"

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Don't you think you've had enough of those?" she questioned as she nodded to the drink.

"I'm a big boy," Kirk answered. "So did he send you in here? Thought maybe a pretty face would get me to agree to sign on to Star Fleet? He order you to flirt with me?"

Sydney burst out laughing. "Oh you're an ass, you know that? No, my father likes to think that I'm still a virgin," she said with a small smile as she watched his face register what she said. "Sydney Pike," she answered.

"You're his daughter…great," Kirk replied. "So I'm surprised you didn't tell him I got a cheap feel," he said as he ordered another drink.

"Make that two coffees," Syd ordered the bartender. "Why? It was an accident and I did take care of it," she told him. "So, I can guess what my father said, but he didn't tell me, and I didn't ask."

"She can have the coffee, I'll take the drink," Kirk told the bartender as he looked at her with his blue eyes. "So why are you in here?"

Sydney shrugged. "You aren't the only one who ever had a bad hand dealt to you in life, and everyone needs someone to talk with."

Jim laughed. "Oh that's rich coming from you," he said as he took the drink.

"Why?" Sydney asked.

"Please, you had your father around, you're probably daddy's little girl, apple of his eyes, can't do anything wrong. Probably your mother dotes on you. You probably got a boyfriend who gives you anything you want, probably have him on speed dial, and when you leave here will go over there," Kirk told her.

Sydney tensed at the mention of a boyfriend and watched him. She laughed as she shook her head. "You're an ass," she told him again. "I don't have a boyfriend, not anymore," she told him. "You think you're the only one who got a bad hand? I'm sorry about your dad, and I'm sorry that your mother wasn't there. Yeah, my dad and I are close, we had some trouble when I was in my teens. But my mom? When I was 4 she decided that she had enough of being a wife and mother. Left in the middle of the night when dad was out on assignment, left me with cereal for a week, haven't heard from her since. I knew how to contact Star Fleet Emergency services, dad had made sure of that, and dad was back in two weeks. I was mad, and I did take it out on dad when I was a teen, but he supported me, knew I needed to rebel. My dad sees something in you, he believes in you, and he's giving you a chance that no one else has given you the chance."

"Why do you or your father care?" Kirk asked.

Sydney shrugged. "We just want to help if we can," she told him as she stood up. "It's up to you if you take the offer. You can wallow in self pity or you can take control of your life," she said. "But at some point you have to take control of your life and stop blaming everyone else," she told him as she walked out.


	3. Chapter 3

**Walking Out of The Shadows**

**Chapter 3**

**I'm hoping you are enjoying this story. Please review! Otherwise I feel like no one likes it, and you wouldn't want me to stop writing would you? I had to show what Jim was thinking, and this was the only way to do it. He's a bit curious about Sydney. Archer is the great grandson of Enterprise's Jonathan Archer.**

Kirk's POV:

Jim Kirk walked into his room and threw off his jacket. He sat down at the computer and typed in the name Sydney Pike. There was something about the five foot three inch female that wouldn't weigh 115 lbs. soaking wet that had his attention. Not to mention that most men couldn't have brought him to his knees like the young woman had. She had said she had training as a law enforcement agent, so what made her go into security and join Star Fleet, besides her father's influence. He watched as results popped up on the screen. Most of the information were news articles, from a year or so ago. He scrolled down and opened one that was from Star Fleet news organization. "A small patrol ship serving as law enforcement protection on the outlaying colonies was fired on causing the ship to catch fire. Four of the six members died of injuries or instantly. Two survivors, Sydney Leigh Pike age 23 and Captain Roger Carpenter, 43 were both injured badly and brought back to Earth. Pike suffered 60% burns on her body, Carpenter was blinded as well as burned. The dead were Maxwell J. Archer 25, Joseph L. Davidson 30, Martha C. Fitzgerald 20, and Kane I. Ziering 33," the article read with a picture of the six. Jim shook his head as his eyes scanned the picture. He noticed how close Archer and Sydney were standing together. "I don't have a boyfriend, not anymore," he remembered her voice in his head. He remembered how tense she was. "And you're going back into Space why?" he thought to himself.

Pike house:

Sydney walked in and threw her keys on the table. "Dad, I'm home," she reported as she started up the stairs.

"Come into the den and talk for a bit. It'll be a while until we get to have a father daughter chat again," Chris told his daughter.

Sydney turned and went into the den. "You think I'm not going to stop by your office do you?" she asked as she sat down on the couch across from him.

Chris smiled. "Well I'm hoping you get to busy and hang out with friends to hang out with your dear old dad," he said.

Sydney laughed as she pulled her knees up to her chin. "Right, I'm sure the macho guys in Security will just love to hang out with me," she answered sarcastically.

"Well, considering you've been beating up boys since you were 7, I think they better watch out," Chris reminded his daughter as he moved over to the couch and put his arm around her. "I could always try and talk to you into another field of study, but I know that you are to stubborn for me even to try and that would be disrespecting what you find the passion for," he told her as he kissed the top of her head.

Sydney laughed and elbowed him gently. "It's your fault you know, you taught me how to shoot a phasor before I was 5, and I was sitting on your knee at your monthly poker games when I was 6," she told him.

Chris laughed. "You met Max at one of those poker games, I swear Jonathan bringing him to that game," he said as he laughed. "I should have insisted on naming you something girly like Eve or Mary," he teased. "Doomed you from the beginning naming you Sydney," he told her.

Sydney laughed. "Oh I just love being named after your honeymoon spot," she teased.

Chris laughed. "Hey you were born two years after that, you know. But that was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, until the day you were born."

"You tell me that all the time," she reminded her father.

"It's true," he insisted.

"Do you regret it? I mean having to raise me on your own? Holding back your career?" Sydney questioned.

"Hey, I did pretty good on the whole career thing," he told her. "The only thing I regret is that your mother did what she did. You I never regret," he told her. "Don't think other wise," he insisted.

"Really? How about that time I stole the shuttle and ran it into the church?" she asked with a grin.

Chris cleared his throat. "Well you were a teenager, and teenagers do push boundaries, and if I remember correctly, you didn't have any free time for two months helping rebuilding that church. And, I was glad that was all the trouble you got into."

"It could have been worse," Sydney admitted. "You think he'll show up tomorrow?"

"Who?" he questioned.

"You know who, Kirk," Sydney informed him.

"I don't know," he answered honestly. "How did it go with him?"

Sydney shrugged. "I did a lot of the talking, except when he was being an ass," she informed him. "I know you hope he will, but I'm not sure. I couldn't get a read from him, he was drunk and had attitude," she said. "I don't blame him, I got lucky having someone around that cared, I could have wound up the same way."

"But you didn't," he reminded her.

"By the Grace of God," Sydney told him.

**(Begging for reviews!)**


	4. Chapter 4

**WALKING OUT OF THE SHADOWS**

**CHAPTER 4**

**Please review, it makes me really happy! Jim and others will join the fun soon! **

**OC's- Sydney Pike (Lauren Cohen) Max Archer (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) Joseph L. Davidson (Omari Hardwick) Martha Fitzgerald (Imogene Poots) Kane Ziering( Ian Somerhalder) and Richard Carpenter (Paul McGillian-who I thought would have been a perfect Scotty) This is a flashback to introduce Sydney and her crew on the border ship. I'm imagining the Law Enforcement agency, not exactly following all the rules.**

"As I rise through the Shadows of the Past, Silhouettes of fire burn through my heart's desire, telling me I have a life to live and a live to give-Dave Alan Walker"

As Sydney lay in her bed with her eyes closed, she knew the shadows in the corner would come to life. She could fight them during the day, keep them at bay, but at night, alone in the dark, they would come. It was always started the same and always would end the same. She tried to fight them at first, went without sleep for days, talked to psychiatrists, took the pills that was supposed to help her sleep, but nothing worked, until she decided to just let the shadows join her. They were her friends, even if they were not alive anymore.

_Captain Richard Carpenter had been doing this job since he was 20_, _had been in one of the first classes at the Interplanetary Law Enforcement Academy. He had found Star Fleet Security to restricting and boring. Interplanetary promised to be a little less restrictive on the rules, and gave more opportunity for patrols. It also meant that you didn't have time to get married, have children or a permanent home, not when they spent 6 months out in 'the dark.' The dark is what he called the out reaches of space, the border colonies. It took a month to get there, four months on base and patrol and another month to get back. Most people didn't last two turns into the dark, or requested to return early. Carpenter sat down at the mess table and looked at his five crew members. He had gotten lucky; three of the five were past there 2__nd__ tour and since he had the most experience, he got to pick his crew._

_Kane Ziering, 33, was the oldest next to him. By looking at him, you would think that the young man was a playboy, and belonged in an office, and not on the outskirts of space. He had a cocky attitude, and had gotten arrested three times before he was 22, that and his computer hacking skills. Starfleet would never accept him with the criminal record he had, and what was there loss was his gain. This was his 2__nd__ tour with Richard, but he had spent a few years as an instructor at the Academy. Ziering was one of the best on the spot engineers he had seen that wasn't Fleet. But Ziering had gotten bored being on Earth, and had requested his 2__nd__ tour, and Carpenter had grabbed him._

_Joseph Davidson, was the 2nd oldest next to him had grown up on one of the border colonies, knew how bad it could come. The tall 30 year old black man had been part of a gang, a gang that had a life of expectancy of 22. By the time he was seventeen, he had lost two older brothers to the violence, and his mother had begged him to get out, to make something of himself. He had left and joined Interplanetary when he was 18. He knew more about weapons on the colonies than anyone else he had ever met, and had saved Richard's life on more than one occasion. He could have had his own ship by now, and his own crew, and could have avoided going out in the black, but he wasn't that kind of man. He liked knowing he could count on people, like Richard himself, and they worked well as a team._

_Max Archer, 25, great grandson of Jonathan Archer, one of the founders of the United Federation of Planets, was the one Richard would have lost a bet to when he was assigned to his crew. He had thought the young man was rebelling against the name when he joined at 19, and that after one tour he would run back to the safety of the Federation and get a free ride because of his name. But from the beginning, Archer, who was great at picking up languages, had surprised him and Joseph on his first trip out to the dark 4 years ago. He was also a sniper and had saved his life on that first trip. Richard couldn't help but smile at the thought of the young man's reaction when Richard had asked him if he was ready to join Starfleet after his first tour was done. The young man laughed and said 'Are you kidding sir, and give up this life?' From that moment on, every time Richard saw his name on rotation, he picked him up._

_Sydney Pike, 23, had come recommended to him by Max. He knew the two of them had been friends since she was 7 and he was 9. Both were kids of Star Fleet officers, both had known how mundane life aboard a Starship could be. She hadn't even applied to Star Fleet; she had joined Interplanetary at age 17. She had done her first tour at 19 on his ship, and when he saw how good she was dealing with children and domestic violence cases, he had decided that she was part of his crew. It also didn't hurt that she was amazing with hand to hand, and could take him down when they were sparring. He knew one day he would lose both her and Max, the two of them would get married and have children. He would wish them both the best of luck in the world, but he would miss them._

_The youngest, and newest on his crew was Martha Fitzgerald. She was 20 years old, and this was her first tour. The young blond was shy, but attentive. No one else had wanted to bother with the young woman who no one thought would make it past her first tour. They all expected her to lose it, and request to be let go and sent back to Earth half way through the tour. It had happened before, but there was something about this young woman, a determination in her eyes that made Richard knew she was going to last, and be a part of his crew for a while._

_Richard took a bite of his pear and looked at his crew. "All right, Ladies and Gents, time to buckle up. We have patrol."_

_Davidson laughed. "Captain, why do I always feel like you hope we get into trouble?"_

"_Because he does!" Sydney answered._

"_What does that say about us? I mean we are the ones who go with him like a pack of puppy dogs," Kane said._

"_Oh I wouldn't say that, Kane. I'd say we know who we can trust out here," Max answered._

Sydney opened her eyes, and turned on the light. She knew sleep wouldn't come, not that night. She got up and decided to finish packing her bag. It was going to be a long day tomorrow.

**Review please**


	5. Chapter 5

**Walking Out of The Shadows**

**Chapter 5**

**Thank you for the reviews! Thank you for suggestions and the ideas. They are taken to heart! Please review! Makes me happy! **

**This is Sydney's first trip into space (that she remembers she was unconscious on the way to Earth) since she almost died. So she has a bit of fear being on a tight little shuttle and McCoy's rant about blowing up isn't going to help. Panic attacks are not a sign of weakness, and that's not what it meant to show by her almost having one. It's a manifestation of fear, and it helps McCoy having something to do too.**

Sydney leaned against the shuttle and looked at her watch. "Dad, he's not coming," she informed her father.

Pike looked at his daughter and sighed. "We can wait a few more minutes," he told her. "Why don't you go find a seat?" he asked.

"Well considering we can't take off without the pilot, which is you, we're not going anywhere with out you being in the pilots seat," Sydney told him. "Plus, I'd rather stay out in the fresh air until the last possible moment," she said.

"You can sit up front with me, you know," Pike informed her as he looked back out in the open.

Sydney smiled. "Thanks, but no special treatment, remember. My own fault for waiting until the last possible second to see if I was going to have any trouble being in a shuttle," she said as she cast a glance inside. "Well at least it's not on fire," she stated.

"I'll try to keep it that way," Pike assured her. "You didn't sleep last night did you?"

"Do I ever?" she asked as she heard a sound of a motorcycle approaching. "Well, look who showed up," she commented as she stood up from her leaning position. "I'm glad I didn't make a bet with you, I would have lost."

Pike gave her a small grin. "You're not as gullible as you were a teenager, you know," he told her.

Kirk grinned as he came up on the pair. "Four years?" he questioned Pike. "I'll do it in four," he told him as he walked up to Sydney. "Thought I wouldn't show up did you Syd?"

"We're not friends, Kirk," she told him. "You're not on the shuttle yet, so therefore you can still change your mind," she said.

"We can be more then friends, you know," Jim told her.

Pike cleared his throat. "Kirk, that is my daughter you're talking to," he reminded the younger man. "Shuttle," he said.

Sydney tried not to grin. "You first, I don't trust you not to make a run for it," she told him.

Jim grinned as he got in the shuttle, and proceeded to hit his head.

"Oh this is going to be fun," Sydney said as she rolled her eyes as he took a seat. She looked at Pike. "I'm going to remind you that this was all your idea when he crashes and burn," she told her father.

Pike laughed. "And then I will have to remind you that you did talk to him after me," he informed her.

"Just make sure he's not on my ship," she warned as she sat down next to Uhura.

"Oh this is going…." Uhura started to say as she cast a glance toward Kirk.

Sydney nodded as she glanced toward Jim then back at her. "Fun?" she asked.

"Not the words I was thinking," the other woman answered. "You doing ok?"

"For now," Sydney answered her friend. "I kind of feel bad that he's going to be in your class," she whispered.

"You could always volunteer to be first year," Uhura teased her friend.

"And have to sit in on my father's lectures? Please!" she said with a grin.

Jim glanced over to the two women. "You know we were never properly introduced," he said to Uhura.

"I guess you're just going to have to wait until orientation," Uhura answered.

Syd laughed as a woman officer escorted a man past her.

"I can get you a doctor," the officer told the older man.

"I told you people, I don't need a doctor. I am a doctor," the man grumbled.

"You need to get back to your seat," the woman told him.

"I had one in the bathroom with no windows," the man grumbled.

The woman looked at him. "You need to get back to your seat, now!"

"I suffer from Aviophobia, it means the fear of dying in something that flies," the man grumbled.

Sydney glanced at the man as he grumbled.

"Sir for your own safety and everyone else's, I need you to take your seat or I'll make you sit," the woman officer said.

" Fine," the man grumbled as he took a seat beside Kirk.

The officer sighed. "Thank you," she said before she stomped off.

"This is Captain Pike, we're cleared for take off," Pikes voice said through the intercom.

Sydney glanced past Kirk to the older man. "Everything ok? You don't look to good," she questioned.

"No everything is not OK," the man grumbled as he looked at Kirk. "I might throw up on you."

"I think these things are pretty safe," Kirk told the other man.

"Don't pander to me, kid. One tiny crack in the hull, and our blood boils in thirteen seconds," the man grumbled.

Sydney glanced at Uhura and shook her head. "Um…would you mind keeping your voice down?" she asked passed Jim.

"What you don't want to think about what you're getting yourself into? A solar flare might pop up and cook us in our seats. And wait 'til your sitting pretty with a case of Andorian shingles. See if you're still so relaxed when your eyeballs are bleeding. Space is disease and danger after darkness and silence," the older man grumbled.

Sydney took a breath. "You said you were a doctor, you've got a hell of a bed side manner," she told him as she took a breath and undid her seat belt.

"What are you doing?" Uhura asked.

Jim looked at her then back at the man. "Well, I hate to break this to you, but Starfleet operates in space."

"Yeah, well, got nowhere else to go. The ex-wife took the whole damn planet in the divorce. All I've got left is my bones," the man said.

Sydney ignored Uhura as she moved to the seat on the other side of McCoy. "Change seats with me, Erikson."

"Sit down," the same female officer that had dealt with McCoy told her.

Sydney looked at her. "I will, when Erikson gives up his seat. Or your other choice is that I go up to the cock pit in the middle of a panic attack and tell the pilot to land this thing," she said as she looked at McCoy. "You're a doctor, I take it that you know how to deal with panic attacks."

Kirk gave a small grin at the officer. "She does have a bit of a pull with the pilot, and I don't think you'd want me to tell him that you didn't help his daughter out," he told her.

"Syd, do you need me to get your dad?" Uhura asked.

Sydney shook her head at the woman starting to try to control her breathing.

McCoy stood up and looked at the man next to him as he took hold of Sydney's shoulders. "Well you heard her, damn it get up."

The young man got up and sat down beside Uhura as McCoy sat her down in between her and Kirk. "Now you're the one that doesn't look so good," the man told her. "Leonard McCoy."

"Sydney Pike," she answered.

"Jim Kirk," Kirk said. "You're turning green, Syd."

Sydney looked at him. "Didn't I tell you last night, Syd is reserved for friends? You haven't made it to the friend level yet," she informed him.

McCoy raised her sleeve to take her pulse and paused as he saw the scars. "What happened?"

Syd sighed. "I was in a patrol ship that was fired upon and it caught fire. Four of the six people died. This is my first time on a shuttle, well that I remember, since," she explained.

"My little rant about blood boiling didn't help?" the Doctor asked. "Sorry, I speak before I think. Now I know why I'm in this tin can, but want to explain to me why you are?" he asked as he took her pulse.

"I'm a little curious myself," Jim told her.

Sydney let her eyes scan over both men. She knew neither one of them wasn't going to accept silence as an answer. The doctor in a professional way, and Kirk in a noisy need to know way. "I'm 24, Doc, I shouldn't have lived but I did. I could either hide away for the rest of my life doing some job I hated or I could get back out doing something I'm passionate about. I decided I'd give Fleet a try this time, and if I didn't make it, well I had family and friends to fall back on."

"Think you just made yourself two more weather you like it or not," McCoy told her.

"We were friends last night, and she sure doesn't like it, do you Syd?" Jim asked.

"I'm going to make sure you're assigned to my hand to hand combat class," she murmured to herself.


	6. Chapter 6

**Walking Out of The Shadows**

**Chapter 6**

**Thank you for the reviews! I do try to proof read, but some do escape me. Thank you for pointing it out so I'll be more careful.**

**Since they didn't do a whole lot with the academy, I have a bit of a free reign. I do plan to skip some, but I'll give you dates. If anyone can tell me how to do Star Dates, I'd be appreciative. **

**I had totally had this half written then needed to go do something else, and it didn't seem right. I wanted to get Archer in here, and then Marcus worked himself in here, which works better.**

Second week at Academy:

Marcus stood on the second deck of the gymnasium and looked down at the new groups of cadets. He did this four times a year, with each class of cadets. He would pick out the best candidates' and follow there progress. He had his eyes on Pike before she even entered the academy and watching her even made him want her more for Section 31.

"I know what you are doing, Alex, and what you are thinking, and you can get it out of your mind right now," the male's voice said from behind him.

Marcus sighed as he glanced over his shoulder. "Admiral Archer, I wouldn't know what you are talking about."

The older man stepped down beside him. "Don't play stupid with me, Alex. You are here watching security training, and you are picking out possible recruits," Archer told him.

"Recruiting for Section 31 has never concerned you before," Marcus told the other man. Archer was one of the few people to know about Section 31, but considering one of his crew had been early Section 31, there was nothing Marcus could do to deny it from the older man.

"You aren't going to approach Cadet Pike," Archer told him, as he lowered his voice. "You are not going to recruit her, for that matter I want you to stay away from anyone in her training squad."

"Admiral with all due respect, who I plan to keep an eye on isn't any of your business," Marcus hissed.

Jonathan tried not to smile. "Oh, Alex, you really don't want to try me do you? You would love to think that no one would ever fight you on anything, what you say goes, that everyone quakes in there boots when you speak. You should know, that I have always opposed of Section 31, and I have opposed funding at every step of the way," Archer informed him.

Marcus looked at him. "Jonathan, I am quite aware of that," he said.

"Admiral Archer," he told the other man. "You take one step toward Cadet Pike, even say hello to her without at least five other people around, I am going to make sure you're funding gets cut this year. You know I can get enough people on my side. Now you need to turn around, and forget her. Now, Admiral Marcus," the older man said.

Marcus knew better then to argue, even though he wanted to. He turned and went out of the room.

Archer bent down over the barrier and watched the training and waited until everyone had finished but Sydney. He knew she would push herself. He walked down. "That's enough Cadet Pike," he ordered.

Sydney turned. "Yes sir," she answered.

Archer smiled. "Now come give your favorite old man a hug."

Sydney laughed. "I think my father would disagree with you on that," she said as she hugged him.

"Well I'm older," Archer told her. "You're pushing yourself to hard."

Sydney sighed. "I'm fine. What are you doing here anyway? You usually don't come to the Academy except for graduations."

Archer smiled. "Well I wanted to see how my favorite girl is doing. You're still under weight, you've been eating enough?"

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Yes _Gramps,_" she said using the name she used to call him as a kid. "I had to get up to 118 before I could get in here," she said as she sat down on the bleachers. "Saw you talking to Admiral Marcus."

Archer sat down. "I am going to say this once, and I want you to remember it," he told her. "I want you to tell me immediately if Marcus approaches you about anything."

Sydney looked at him. "What aren't you telling me?"

"Marcus isn't to be trusted, I can't say more then that. Promise me," Archer said.

Sydney nodded. "I promise."

"Good," Archer said as he kissed the top of her head. "Go get a shower, I'm cooking dinner for your father and you tonight. Been a while since we hung out."

Sydney nodded. "We haven't since…Max…"

"It's ok to miss him kiddo," Archer told her. "Just remember you're alive," he told the young woman.


	7. Chapter 7

**Walking Out of The Shadows**

**Chapter 7**

**Reviews make me happy, they also tell me if I'm doing good or bad! So please review! **

**I have to apologize if I got the time wrong with Spock being a Professor, never really understood when he became one. And I tried to look it up and couldn't find it. Sydney thinks (and tries) to handle things on her own, and sometimes she needs her friends to watch out for her. Sorry that this chapter is LONG.**

Six weeks at the Academy:

Sydney walked down the hall of Starfleet Academy looking through her PADD, taking mental notes from the lecture she had just attended. She had ten minutes to stop and get coffee and get to her next lecture, History of Weapons. She wouldn't stay awake with out the coffee.

"I know who you are," a male's voice said from behind her.

Sydney stopped and turned. "I'm sorry?"

The man took a step closer to her. "You're Sydney Pike, you were on the patrol cruiser with my brother."

Sydney looked at the man's eyes and took a breath. "Kane…was your brother…" she said.

"My older brother," the man told her. "Do you remember him?"

"Yes.. of course I do," Sydney answered.

"_Hey Short Stuff, you want to play some hoops?" the brown haired man asked as he threw the ball to her._

_Sydney grinned as she caught the ball. "Aren't you afraid you're going to lose again Kane?"_

"_You got lucky once Shorty," Kane told her with a grin._

"He was my…friend, of course I remember him," Sydney told the man. "Kam right? You're parents had a thing…for K names…" she told him. She took a breath, trying to keep from breathing hard.

"Yeah, let me ask you a question Pike, what does it feel like for you? Being alive and them being dead? We didn't even have a body to bury, yet you're standing here," the man said as he stepped closer to her causing her to be walk backwards into a wall. "Feeling trapped? I wonder if that's how my brother felt, burning to death."

"I'm…sorry, I…he was…a friend," she told him.

"I can't believe that you have the nerve to be here, to pretend nothing happened," the man told her.

"Cadet Pike is there a problem?" a male's voice asked behind him.

"Syd?" Uhura asked as she ran beside her.

The man stepped back. "No problem Professor Spock, Cadet Pike knew my brother, we were just discussing him."

The half Vulcan looked at him. "I do not think I asked you Cadet Ziering, I was asking Cadet Pike."

Sydney took a breath and nodded. "Cadet Ziering is correct, we were discussing his brother."

Spock arched an eyebrow. "Cadet Uhura would you escort Cadet Pike to medical, she does not look well," he told the other woman. "Cadet Ziering, my office in ten minutes," Spock ordered.

"Yes sir," both Uhura and Ziering answered as Uhura took Sydney's elbow.

"How much…did you two hear?" Sydney asked as she walked with Uhura.

"I didn't hear much, couldn't make out what he was saying. Professor Spock heard more, I'm not sure what," the other woman told her. "You want me to get hold of your dad?"

"No, I'm fine, I'll just go back to quarters, rest," Sydney told her.

"Oh no, a Professor ordered me to take you to me medical, we're going to medical," Uhura told her as they walked into the building. "Sit," Uhura told her friend.

"Ny, I'm fine," Sydney insisted.

"No, you're not, sit," she told her as she put her hands on the other woman's shoulder and went over to the desk. "Cadet Pike needs to see a doctor," Uhura told the woman at the desk.

"What is the problem?" the nurse asked.

"Professor Spock ordered her down for a medical check up," she answered as she sighed. She wanted to protect her friends privacy and not say everything out in the open. "Look, just look up Cadet Pike's medical file, and get a doctor over here."

The receptionist looked up at her. "I'm going to need a medical reason," she told her.

"And I told you to look up her medical file. Her diagnosis is already in there, and it's more private then me announcing it all over medical bay isn't it?" Uhura asked as she spotted a familiar face from behind the counter. "Dr. McCoy isn't it?" she asked as he turned around. "I brought Cadet Pike in, the same trouble she had on the shuttle. But the receptionist here won't look up her medical file. Could you please help her?" Uhura asked.

"Damn it woman, why didn't you just bring up the Cadet's file? She's the daughter of a Professor here, the name should at least get some recognition," the doctor grumbled as he went out to the waiting room. "We really need to stop meeting like this, Syd. Come on back," he told her. He looked at Uhura and mouthed, "Contact her father," he said.

Uhura nodded as the two went out of sight.

"I'm fine, Doctor McCoy," she told the man as he escorted her to an exam room.

McCoy looked at her. "Right, you look like you're going to pass out, you're having trouble controlling your breathing, and you look like you haven't slept in two or three days," he told her as he nodded to the bio bed. "After what happened on the shuttle, I studied your medical file. I meant to come check up on you before but I got a little side tracked, but by the looks of you, I should have made you my top priority," he told her as he brought up her medical record on a PADD and sat down in front of her. "What happened?"

"Just got confronted by one of my crew member's brother, he asked if I ever thought about him and what it felt like to be trapped," Sydney answered. "I didn't handle it well, it won't happen again. I'll be better prepared for it next time."

"Damn it, Syd, you shouldn't happen again, it shouldn't have happened this time. That was uncalled for, you need to report it," McCoy informed her.

"I think Professor Spock over heard, he ordered me here," Sydney told him.

McCoy nodded. "When was the last time you slept? And I mean really slept without any nightmares, all night through?"

Sydney had to laugh. "Maybe when I was unconscious after the accident? I've given up on getting a good nights sleep."

"Last time you ate? I haven't seen you at the mess hall," he stated.

"Must be on different schedules, Doc," Sydney answered.

McCoy tapped something on his PADD and looked up at her. "Why would you look at that, we get off at the same time three days in a row. Once again, when was the last time you ate kiddo? You can answer me, or I can put you on a scale and note it in your file. I have a feeling you're not going to make weight standards for Security if I do that," he warned.

"I had a bagel for breakfast," Sydney answered.

"Did it stay down?" McCoy questioned.

"Yes," she answered.

"What did you have for dinner last night?" he asked.

Sydney sighed. "I think I like you when you're grumpy and unconcerned," she hissed. "A bowl of cereal, in my room."

"A bowl of cereal? Damn it Syd, that's not enough to live on especially with as many calories as your putting out," he scolded her. "Look, we can do this a couple of ways," he told her as he got up and sat on the bio bed with her.

"Do what?" she questioned, afraid that she knew the answer already.

"I'm not going to have you brought in here one day unconscious because you are trying to unconsciously starve yourself to death," he informed her. "I also don't want to get you kicked out of Star Fleet because I think that would do more harm then good," he told the younger woman. "But you and me we're going to have a dinner date in the mess hall three nights a week, and I'm sure if I ask my roommate, he'd be happy to come pull you out of your room and make you eat," he teased.

"Kirk's your roommate isn't he?" she asked as she shook her head. "Yeah no thanks," she answered.

"Well, I don't think you get a choice, kiddo. You're going to have someone going with you to the mess hall or out to dinner or cooking for you or you cook for them, and watch you eat for the next month," he told her. "And, once a week you're going to come in here and you're going to get weighed by me. If in a month, you haven't gained weight and you don't look any better then you do right now, I am going to have to note it in your file," he told her.

"And the second choice?" she asked.

"I put it in your file now," McCoy told her. "I think I know which one you would prefer," he told her.

Sydney sighed. "Fine, we'll do it your way," she answered.

"And, you're off duty for the week. I'll talk with your father, get your lectures downloaded for you," he told her. "But you need sleep, and I mean real sleep. Not getting up in the middle of the night and going to the gym," he told her. "Or if it was me, hitting a bar in the middle of the night," he said as he stood up and went over and got a hypospray. "And we're going to start for a nice little nap right now," he said. "Lay back."

"Seriously Leonard?" Sydney asked.

"Calling me by my first name isn't going to get me to change my mind, kiddo," he told her. "Lay down," he ordered again.

"Fine," she mumbled as she laid down.

"What's your favorite food?" he asked.

"What?" Sydney asked confused as he stuck her with the hyprospray.

"It's Friday, we all have the weekend off, and when you wake up in a few hours, Uhura, Jim, you and me are going out. Call it step one of monitoring," McCoy told her.

"Sushi," she answered.

McCoy rolled his eyes. "You would have to say sushi wouldn't you? You couldn't say Italian or southern? No it had to be some damn raw fish," he grumbled.

Sydney gave a small smile as she yawned. "Serves you right," she mumbled as she drifted out to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

**Walking Out of The Shadows**

**Chapter 8**

**Thank you for all the followers! It makes me happy! Review please. It makes me happy! And motivated? I had to get Jim and her talking, since they are both survivor's and Jim knows something about survivor's guilt. But she isn't falling for the Kirk charm yet! Another long chapter.**

Sydney opened up an eye at the insistent chime of her dorm room and glanced at the clock. She mumbled grabbing her robe, stumbling to her door. "Do you realize it's 6:30 AM on a blasted Saturday?" she mumbled as she opened the door. "Kirk?" she asked as she looked at him. She raised an eyebrow as she took in the man's appearance. "You are wearing the same clothes you were last night when we all went to dinner," she said.

"Yes, and I didn't want another lecture from Bones about coming home with another hangover," Jim responded.

"So you came to my door at 6:30 in the morning?" she questioned.

"I came to take you out to breakfast, I need to eat, and I know Bones wants you to have three square meals," he told her. "Are you going to invite me in or am I going to stand out here while you get changed?"

Sydney sighed. "I never said that I'd have breakfast with you. I was enjoying my first four hours of interrupted sleep in a while before you woke me up," she told him. "Fine, but you're not coming in. Give me ten minutes," she told him as she shut the door in his face. Sydney sighed as she went into her room and changed, putting her hair up in pigtail. She walked out the door. "Happy now?" she asked.

Jim laughed. "You just don't like me do you?"

"I'm not a morning person," she grumbled. "So who did you wind up going home with this time? That waitress you were flirting with at the restaurant? Or someone that you felt up at a bar?" she asked.

Jim smiled. "Someone at the bar," he admitted.

"We're not going to the cafeteria?" she asked as she stopped as they were passing it.

"There's a café right outside grounds, best black coffee ever," he said. "I'm buying."

"I know the place, best Lox and bagel," Sydney told him as she walked with him. "I can buy for myself, thanks."

Jim laughed. "You never answered me, you just don't like me?"

Sydney rolled her eyes and sighed. "Kirk, if I didn't like you, then I would have punched you for having the audacity to come to my dorm at 6:30 on a Saturday morning, half hung over," she told him. "And, I certainly wouldn't be going to breakfast with you," she said as they got to the café.

Jim grinned. "So my charm is working on you is it?"

"There it is," Sydney answered as she shook her head. "Not every woman has to fall for that so called charm Jim, and you can't stand it that I'm not falling into your bed," she told him. "You know what, you have your coffee," she said as she turned around.

"Syd, wait," Jim said as he grabbed her elbow. "Can we just have breakfast and have a conversation? Please?"

"Fine, but I'm buying my own food," she told him as she sat down at a table with him. "What do you want to talk about? And please don't start talking about last nights little conquest, because I am not in the mood."

"I wouldn't kiss and tell," he told her.

"Yes you would," she shot back.

"Well, there's a time and place for it, and this isn't it," he told her. "I wanted to talk to you about what happened yesterday," he told her. "The incident with Ziering."

Sydney let her eyes look down at the menu. "What about it?"

"Hey, look at me, Syd," Jim said. "What you're experiencing, it's survivor's guilt," he told her.

Sydney leaned back in her chair. "When did you get your medical degree?"

He laughed. "If you don't remember, my mother and I were survivor's," he told her. "I watched my father's death eat up my mother for years. Panic attacks? She had them all the time," he told her. "And looking at me, it made her feel more guilty," he admitted. "Black coffee," he ordered as the waitress came up.

"Large orange juice and Lots on a everything bagel," Sydney ordered as the waitress walked away. "Why are you telling me this?"

"My mother never talked to me about my father, and maybe it would have been easier if she did," he informed her.

"So are you suggesting I go to Ziering and talk about his brother? I don't think he's much into the whole listening thing," she told him.

"No I'm not suggesting that you go talk to him, personally from what Uhura told me, I want to punch him for cornering you like that. What I am suggesting is that you talk to your new friends about your old friends," he told her.

Sydney looked at him with her light blue eyes. "What?"

"That night in Riverside, after you had your little talk with me, I went back to my room and I pulled your name and read some articles," he replied honestly as the coffee and juice came.

Sydney tensed and waited until the waitress left before she said anything. "Really? And what gave you the right?" she hissed.

Jim met her gaze. "You want to tell me you didn't look me up after your father sent you out of that bar? Curiosity?"

Sydney relaxed a little. "Part of my job to be curious," she admitted. "Plus I needed to know why the name Kirk peeked my father's interest."

"I was curious too, I mean it's not everyday that I meet a female that can take me down with one good twist of an elbow," he told her as he sipped the coffee. "The way you tensed when I even suggested I knew something about what happened, the same way my mother did when I even mentioned the Kelvin and my father."

Sydney sighed. "Yeah, so I'm not comfortable with talking about them OK? And, yes, you're right, I do have guilt about surviving. Every day, I go through it in my mind and ask myself why I survived and they didn't," she admitted as the waitress brought the bagel and lox.

"I saw it destroy my mother, running from the memories, never talking about him. I couldn't do anything for her, maybe I don't want to see memories destroy a friend," he said.

Sydney watched him. "I've talked to people," she said as she took a bite of the lox and bagel.

"I'm not talking about psychiatrist, they don't talk back," he said as he motioned the waitress over and held up his cup for a refill.

Sydney waited as the waitress refilled the cup and walked away. "What are you going to say? I'm sorry? It doesn't help."

"Wasn't going to sorry," Jim answered. "So what was he like?"

Sydney looked at him. "Who?"

"Max, your boyfriend? Fiancee maybe?" he asked as he drank the second cup of coffee. He watched her face. "The way you were standing in the picture, he probably had his arm around you in that picture."

Sydney took another bite of her food and looked at him. She remembered that picture, the day it was taken. The captain liked taking a picture of his crew at the beginning of each stint in the black.

"_So he does this every time?" the young blond woman asked._

"_Every time," Davidson the second in command answered._

"_Why?" she asked._

"_Because one of us may not come back, and I want a reminder of everyone I ever take out there," Carpenter answered. "Now get over there."_

"We knew each other since we were younger…kids really," Sydney answered. "We grew up together, ate here a lot actually," she admitted.

"Didn't answer the question what was he like? What did he like to do? When did the two of you get serious?" Jim questioned.

Sydney knew by the look on his face that he wasn't going to drop this subject. "He was the star of the Swim team, good at listening to someone talk and pick up the dialect. Federation would have loved him," she told him.

"Eat," Jim ordered as he got another refill of coffee. "Why didn't he join Starfleet? Why didn't you for that matter?"

"We weren't rebelling against our last names if that's what you're asking. For Max it was in his blood, exploring further then Starfleet boundaries," she explained as she took another bite. "For me, it was the thrill of it," she admitted. "I mean they aren't as strict with the rules as the Federation, we did our job and if we had to break the rules, no one really questioned it," she said. "You wouldn't know anything about rule breaking would you?"

Jim laughed. "I don't see you as a rule breaker," he pointed out.

"Out in the Black, there's a thin line between right and wrong. Maybe if we weren't following protocol that day…." she started to say.

"Hey, how did you and Max get together?" Jim asked. He wasn't letting her go to what if's, it would eat her up alive.

"We went to the prom together," she answered.

"Prom? Seriously?" Jim asked almost spitting out his coffee.

"Yes, his prom," she answered. "Then he had just finished his first tour out in the black when my prom came up and he went with me to mine. I guess there wasn't really a time there wasn't a Max and Sydney…until now," she said as she finished her bagel. "Look if you tell me that I didn't die that day, and that I need to live, I'm going to have to hit you," she warned him.

"Heard that a lot huh?" he questioned.

"Doc said it to me yesterday, Admiral Archer a couple weeks after I got here, Uhura reminds me at least once a week," she answered.

"Well they are right," Jim answered. "I mean you could become like me, a drinker, bedding anything in a skirt, well in your case pants," he teased.

Sydney laughed. "You could change," she reminded him. "How do you do it? I mean, I kind of asked Dad how you were doing."

Jim gave her the Kirk grin. "Oh you did, did you? Why?"

Sydney rolled her eyes. "Well considering you insist on calling me Syd, you think we are friends," she told him. "It was that damn curiosity again, see how you were handling the rules and regulations. He said that you were doing good in your classes, wouldn't be surprised if you finished in three years. But you also are never on time for his class, the first one in the morning."

"I sit in the back, how does he notice?" Jim mumbled.

Sydney laughed as she finished her lox and bagel and drank her juice. "Welcome to the world of Christopher Pike noticing everything. I swear he has eyes in the back of his head. You can't get away with anything with him. So try to be on time on Monday."

"Yes ma'am," he answered.


	9. Chapter 9

**Walking Out of the Shadows**

**Chapter 9**

**Reviews and followers make me very happy! Please review more? I found this poem online and thought it fit Sydney perfectly. It helped me decide how I was going to proceed with this chapter. We're going to assume that Starfleet starts classes in August so it would put five months into January. Once again I'm not good at Stardates. **

Hemmed in by many thoughts and feelings of the past, each day lasts forever in my mind.  
>Wanting to erase or get rid of all the memories, I succeed only in getting trapped by them.<br>Wishing doesn't change a thing - nor does getting angry.  
>If nothing had ever been left to chance, many memories could remain sweet and undefiled.<br>All is thought in vain, because what has gone on in the past is always to be remembered.  
>Whenever life swings full around, horrible memories always seem to slap you in the face-Roseanne V. Shawaik<p>

New Year's Eve (Five months Academy)

Sydney brought her leg into contact with the punching bag, immediately switching to the other leg doing the same thing. She heard the door to the gym open and turned without looking up. "Almost done Richardson, then it's yours," she told her fellow cadet.

"Syd," she heard her father's voice say.

Sydney knew that tone and immediately looked up as she took off her boxing glove and immediately saw her father, Admiral Archer and Dr. McCoy standing there. "Oh this can't be good news," she observed.

McCoy came down the steps. "You better sit down darling," he told her.

"What happened? The three of you wouldn't be here together if something didn't happen," she told them. "Please don't treat me like a child, just tell me."

Chris and Jonathan Archer looked at each other. Jonathan took a breath as he joined her. "Syd, we wanted you to hear it from us before you turned on the news or something," he told her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Captain Carpenter was found dead in his apartment on Mars this morning. Self-inflected wound from a phasor."

Sydney looked at them. "He…no, he wouldn't," she said as she sat down on the bench. "We talked…before I came here. He was glad that I was moving on…no, it wasn't Rich. He wouldn't give up," she told them.

"Baby, I'm sorry, but it was him," Chris said as he bent down in front of her. "Come on back to my apartment tonight, we'll watch the fireworks from my balcony," he told her.

Sydney shook her head. "No, have plans, with Doc and the group," she answered.

"We'll understand you canceling," Bones told her. "Damn it, none of us will blame you from not wanting to be out in public," he told her.

Sydney stood. "I'm not going to cancel, OK? Archer Beach at six," she told him.

McCoy looked at the other two men and slowly nodded. "Right, at six," he confirmed.

"I'll see you then," she stated as she walked out of the gym.

"I have a feeling that she's going to be having a melt down here in a while," Archer told the other two men.

"She'll have people around her sir," McCoy said. "Maybe she'll actually talk about it," he suggested.

Archer Beach 5:15.

Sydney had gone back to her dorm, took a shower and put on a pair of white shorts and a lightweight long sleeve buttoned down plaid shirt. She had stopped at the store and picked up a case of beer, where she met up with Gailia and Uhura.

"Your dad let us know what happened, we didn't think you'd still be coming out tonight," Gailia told her.

"He probably talked to you before they talked to me," she said as she paid for the beer. "Since I don't have duty tomorrow, I plan to get drunk. And I expect the two of you to get me back to my dorm, all safe and sound. And not let me do anything stupid," she added.

Uhura gave the other woman a grin as she picked up some Alien wine. "You mean not to let you do ANYONE that you'll regret, like Kirk."

Sydney stuck her tongue out at the other woman.

"Uhura don't you know sex makes you feel better about things? It may be the best thing for Syd right now," the Orion woman said.

"No!" both women exclaimed at the same time.

Sydney looked at Uhura. "Alright new plan, you make sure I don't do anything stupid," she told the other woman. "You good with that?"

"I'm good," Uhura said with a smile as she picked up a package of soda. "One of us is keeping a straight head tonight," she told her.

"You two are no fun," Gailia informed them as she walked with them to the beach.

"How are you doing? Really?" Uhura asked her in a hushed voice.

"I'm pretty sure the realization hasn't set in yet," Sydney admitted. "I didn't want to sit with dad at his apartment; he was going to insist on talking, "she told her. "I don't want to be forced to talk about it, though I may because I'll be drinking."

"But you don't want to feel like you HAVE too right?" Uhura asked.

Sydney nodded. "Exactly," she answered as they got to the beach.

"I'll put this in the coolers," Uhura said as she took the beer from the other woman.

Sydney grabbed one of the warm beers and opened it. Some of the crowd had been there all day, some were just arriving, some were bringing food, and others like her were bringing the alcohol. It was going to be there last two days of freedom, before the second half of the term started. Most of the people, especially first years, were taking advantage of it. For her she wanted to use the night to forget, and to feel normal for once in a long time. She sighed as she drank half of the bottle and looked toward the gazebos that sat near the ocean. She drank the second half, dropped the bottle in the trash and got another one from a cooler, sat down on the beach and looked at the gazebos again.

_Sydney laughed as she pulled away from Max. "I bet you bring all the girls down here and make out with them, I mean how many boys can brag that a beach was renamed for a family member?" _

_Max laughed as he kissed her again. "There's only one girl for me, always has been. So you told your dad that you aren't heading to the Academy after graduation" he asked as he put her hair behind her ear._

"_He's the one that gave me the application," Sydney answered. "He knew from the time we joined kickboxing class together when I was 8 that I was going to do something other than Fleet. Maybe when they start venturing out more," she told him. "So you like your captain?" she asked._

"_Rich? Yeah, he's a good guy. Cares about his people, wants to get a crew that he can rely on, one that's not into flakey people that can't hold their own. Not out in the Black."_

_Sydney smiled. "That's good to know, that means that I can rely on him bringing you home."_

"_I'm already talking you up to him," he told her. "I want to know that you are coming home too," he told her as he kissed her._

Sydney sighed as she looked out at the ocean, drinking her second beer, and put it in the trash. She got up and grabbed a third one.

"Well look who had the nerve to show up, didn't think you'd have the guts to, after your Captain took his own life. Giving you ideas?" Kam asked as he stood up from the table he was sitting at.

"Kam leave her alone," one of his friends said.

Syd took a drink of her beer and looked at him. "I'm surprised you are brave enough to confront me with this many people around," she told him.

"I don't have a problem confronting you wherever," Kam hissed at her. "No Professor's out here to save you."

"I'm not the one that needs saving," she told him as she took another sip of her beer. "You would make your brother ashamed."

"Don't talk about my brother, you have no right," Kam hissed as he stepped closer to her.

"Oh I have every right," she answered. "You didn't even write him that last Christmas, or send him a video card. You and the rest of your family cut him off because he got into trouble, and now you're acting like you care. You're a hypocrite, and a bully," Syd told him.

"Ziering maybe you should back off," Hendroff said as he came up behind Sydney.

"It's OK, Hendroff, I got this," Sydney said as she downed the rest of her beer. "You want everyone to think that you're some kind of blasted saint that cared for your brother. But the truth is, you're lashing out at me because you feel guilty. What was his last girlfriend's name?" she asked as she pushed the empty bottle into Hendroff's hand.

"What?" Kam asked confused.

Sydney rolled her eyes. "You confront me, twice now, for still being alive, and him not being. For a guy who so cared for his brother, what was his last girlfriends name? Where did they meet? How long were they going out?" she asked as she pounded his chest with her finger. "Her name was Lori, she was a cook at the base, and they were going out for four months," she informed him. "I'm giving you one warning, and I have witnesses, if you say another word to me, approach me, I'm going to take it as a threat, and I'm going to cause you some serious pain, then I'm going to bring you up on charges for stalking. Got it? Good," she said as she walked away.

"How many beers have you had?" Jim asked as he came over to her.

"Three," she answered.

"I don't mind you getting drunk, darling," McCoy said as he walked up. "Hell I've done it a few times myself, but I am going to have to insist that you eat something before you have another beer. And, slowing down on the drinking would be a good idea. I mean you do want to see New Years, don't you?" he asked.

"You can let lose tonight, Syd, we got you," Jim told her.

(TBC in next chapter)


	10. Chapter 10

**Walking Out of The Shadows**

**Chapter 10**

**I love seeing all the reviews and followers! My son is in college and we share a computer, and it's going into our busy season at work but I will try to update once a week. Please review or PM me it makes my day****J**

Continuation of New Years Eve:

Jim sat down beside Sydney and handed her a plate of food. "Bones said to eat," he said.

"Since when do you listen to what anyone says?" she asked as she drank another beer.

Jim laughed. "Well I don't listen when it comes to me, but when it comes to friends, I do," he said as he took the beer out of her hands. "You can have this back when you finish that," he ordered.

"Yes Sir," Sydney answered sarcastically as she took a bite of the hotdog. "You trying to get even for me trying to make you drink coffee that night at we met?"

"I can handle my alcohol, you not so much," Jim informed her. "You know it's alright to be mad at him."

Sydney looked at him. "Mad at who?" she asked.

"Your former Captain, for taking his life," Jim answered.

"He's right, it's alright to be angry," Uhura told her as her, Galia and McCoy sat down.

Sydney shrugged. "That's the thing, I'm not. I know I should be, maybe I was when I was first told, but now, I'm not," she answered as she ate the hotdog.

"You'll feel it tomorrow, you're just numb because of the beer," Galia answered.

"Or it may take you weeks or months to feel it," McCoy told her.

Sydney rolled her eyes. "You guys really need lessons on the whole cheering up thing," she told them. "I don't know what Rich's reason's for taking his life was, I can guess. I've been there, I still have days I wonder why I'm here and they aren't. The only thing I'm mad at is myself for not knowing he was in a bad place. I should have known," she said as she finished the second hot dog and took the beer back from Jim. "Deals a deal," she said.

"You can't read minds, Syd, this isn't your fault," Uhura told her.

"She's right, Syd, you're not a damn mind reader, there was no way of knowing where his mind set was," McCoy told her.

"You two dealt with things differently because you were different people," Galia told her. "Personally, I would be seeking the comfort of someone's arms," she said as she winked at Jim.

Sydney laughed. "Seriously Galia, how do you and Jim make it to classes? I mean he's chasing everything in skirts, and you chasing every male."

"Whose chasing? I get them," Galia said with a grin.

Jim laughed as he slightly bumped her shoulder with his. "I'm not that bad," he told her.

McCoy laughed as he drank his whiskey. "Yes you are," he told his roommate.

"If I'm that bad, then why haven't I slept with three of you?" Jim asked.

Uhura laughed. "Because we have standards?"

"You're not our type?" Sydney asked.

"You haven't tried?" Galia questioned with a wink.

"Galia!" both Uhura and Sydney exclaimed.

"You two are no fun!" Galia responded.

Bones shook his head. "Damn it, the two of you better make sure you keep up with your birth control shots as well as use protection."

"This is a conversation that I really hope that I don't remember in the morning," Sydney told the group.

"You're probably not going to remember much of anything in the morning," Bones told her.

"And that was the plan Doc," Sydney answered as she grabbed another beer. She looked out at the water and saw a long legged blond that reminded her of Martha.

_Sydney nodded as she watched the young woman put her bag on the bunk. "It's not much, but it's home," she said to the younger woman. _

"_You don't think I'm going to last the tour do you?" the blond woman asked._

_Sydney looked at her. "Martha, I don't care what other people say, I don't care if they are taking bets, what I care about is if you can cover my six when it needs to be covered. If you worry about what other people are saying, then you need to tell the Captain you want to go home right now, because you aren't going to be any good to any of us. Don't you think I've heard it all? I mean women have come a long way from being thought of all they were capable of is being barefoot and pregnant, but God, let a woman be capable of taking down a man twice her size, and there must be something wrong with her. Law enforcement, security, weapons, it's still a male oriented field, and you, me and the other few women on this base, we have to work twice as hard as the males to get respect. Do I like it? Hell no. You have your own reasons for wanting to do this, and those reason's can be kept to yourself, until you decide you want to share them. But if you listen to the whispers, about your looks, about what's a girl like you doing out here, then you are going to doubt yourself. The captain saw something in you, some spark he saw in all of us, so I know you'll do good."_

"_A lot of people don't give me a chance, I appreciate it," she told the other woman._

_Sydney nodded. "Mandatory phasor training in an hour, let's see what you got," she said as she walked out of the room._

"Hello, are you still with us? You seemed a few thousand light-years away," Jim told her.

"Yeah, sorry just got lost in memories," she said. "What were you saying?" she asked.

"We were saying it's time to do a toast," Galia answered as she stood up.

"A toast? To what?" Sydney asked.

McCoy grabbed her hand and pulled her up. "You really did zone out for a bit didn't you?" he asked.

"Like I said memories," she responded.

"Then this fits perfectly," Uhura answered.

Jim poured them glasses of champagne and handed it to them. "Since the anniversary of my dad's death is a few days ago, and I'm so not going to any memorial, and you just lost someone close to you, thought we'd make a toast."

Syd arched an eyebrow. "Your idea, go ahead," she told him.

Jim held out his glass as the others did the same. "To old friends who are no longer living, those who we keep dear, and to new friends who we make new memories with."

"To friends old and new," they all said as they took a drink.

**Please review****J**


	11. Chapter 11

**Walking Out of the Shadows**

**Chapter 11**

**Thank you for all the followers and favorites. Thank you for the reviews. Please review more**** It makes me really really really happy! It encourages me and gets me motivated! Anyway, I started this chapter three different times, and did not like where it was going each time. I knew where I needed it to go, but it just did not go in that direction. So, I decided to just go with my original idea. **

**Lincoln Ramsey is portrayed by David James Elliot. As a reminder, Sydney is portrayed by Lauren Cohen (of Walking Dead Fame, which I don't watch but she was carrying a gun, she worked!)**

Sydney Pike stood in the back of the funeral for her former Captain, as she let her eyes scan the area. "Always be diligent," she told herself.

"Or risk being dead," a voice said from behind her. "Now isn't this a shame, you wearing an Academy uniform?" the man teased as he playfully elbowed her.

Sydney laughed as she turned and looked at the older man. "And look at you in a suit and tie. Decided to go honest and stop chasing the bad guys and put them behind bars?"

Lincoln nodded. "Let's take a walk," he told the younger woman. "When was the last time you spoke to Rich?"

"Two weeks ago, you?" she asked as they walked away from the crowd.

"Three nights before he died," Lincoln told her.

"Did he give you any indication that he was going to do this?" she asked.

"We made dinner plans for today, and I can assure you it wasn't for his funeral," the older man told her. He looked down at the younger woman. "I've known Rich since we were 18 and in school. We both went through the ranks together; there wasn't a week that went by that we didn't talk. I can tell you that the man I knew would never take his life," he informed her.

Sydney nodded. "We all deal with things our own way, Linc…maybe he wasn't handling it as well as we thought," she responded, as she crossed her arms in front of her.

"You don't believe that any more than I do," the older man protested.

Sydney nodded. "No I don't," she answered truthfully. "I didn't believe that he would do something like that when my dad and Admiral Archer told me about his taking his own life, and I got that uneasy feeling in my stomach."

"Like you knew something wasn't right but you just couldn't put your finger on it," Lincoln said as he nodded. "I got it too, when I was told."

"So, if he didn't kill himself…" she started to say.

"Someone did it," the man responded.

"To get that close, he would have had to trust them, even with him being blind. He wouldn't let anyone get that close to him without him being comfortable," Sydney told him.

He nodded. "That's what I was thinking myself."

"So what are we going to do to try to prove it?" she asked.

"We aren't going to do anything, I am going to do it," Lincoln told him.

"Hey, you know I can help. He was my friend too," Sydney insisted.

Lincoln tapped the shoulder of her Academy uniform. "I am not going to put your career in jeopardy. You've got a whole future to look forward to. The rules we followed, or in our case didn't follow, doesn't apply to the Federation. You can't be risking your career doing something that is possibly illegal," he told her.

"The same could be said about you, you know. You are Mr. lawyer now," she pointed out.

"I am, but I don't have as much to risk as you. Plus I have the gate code to his house," Lincoln answered with a grin.

Sydney punched his arm. "You could have mentioned that before!" she told him.

Lincoln laughed. "Now what fun would that be?" he asked. "Rich and I used to love seeing that look of frustration you get when you got told something you should have figured out," he told her.

"Yeah so does my dad and Admiral Archer," she admitted. "I am so glad that you all seem to get some pleasure out of proving me wrong," she answered sarcastically. "But if you got the code to the house, then you wouldn't be doing anything illegal and I could go with you," Sydney pointed out.

"I said I had the code, didn't say anything about having a key," Lincoln informed her.

"Oh," she told him.

Lincoln nodded. "So, see little Miss Fleet I can't in good conscious let you go with me and snoop around. It wouldn't be right."

Sydney rolled her eyes. "No wonder you and Rich were best friends, when I told him I was joining he called me Little Miss Fleet, of course it was jokingly."

"I was joking too," he said as he turned and looked at her. "He was proud of you, you know. He knew that you were hurting and missing them as much as he was," Lincoln informed her.

Sydney nodded. "You'll tell me what you find, if you find any proof right? I mean, who would want to hurt Rich?"

"We've all got enemies, Syd. Every one of us that decided to put on a different uniform then Fleet. There are some people who have been against us since day one, and those same people are the first ones to come recruiting us when we leave, because they know we didn't follow rules, so we may be willing to break them at Fleet," he told her. "You haven't been approached have you?" he asked.

"Rich asked me the same thing. Are you telling me that someone in Fleet is looking for people to break the rules?" she asked.

"People want a war; they are looking for a reason to bring war. They know it's just a matter of time until they are exploring more, getting into the unexplored territories with unknown races and aliens. There missions will be longer and more dangerous, so they want the people with the skills to handle it. Unfortunately, there's a thin line between right and wrong. What we did, we did because we were helping people, and out there the rules are still being written. But people in Fleet, well there's some that think the only way to rule is to be on top, to bring war by making it seem that it's the other side that's bringing it," he explained.

"They approached you? And Rich?" she asked.

Lincoln shook his head. "No, they only recruit from inside Fleet. Trust me when I say someone's watching you."

Sydney looked at him. "Well I'm not going to agree to it, I'm not going to be anyone that starts a war," she informed him.

"Well I don't know if they'll actually approach you, you do have friends in high places," Lincoln told her.

"You think Rich's death…they're trying to get me to break down? So if they approach me, they can use his 'suicide' as a reason to recruit me?" she asked.

"I can't say for sure yet, it may just be a wild unprovable theory," he told her.

"But your gut is telling you it's not?" she asked.

"My gut's telling me it's not," he agreed.

**A little foreshadowing. Sorry no flashbacks. That took me 7 days to write! But I got it where I needed to go!**


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